Англійський гумор

1.Actor is a man who tries to be everything but himself

2. Friend is one who has the same enemies you have.

3. Lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman.

4. Mirror is one that laughs at your face.

5. School  year is a very long period between vocations.

6. Zoo is a place where animals study human beings.

7. If vegetable oil comes from vegetables where does baby oil comes from?

8. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

9. Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes.

10.Hit me! I need the money ( the sign on the car)

11. Those who can, do. Those who can do more, teach.

12. Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all his students.

13.When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.